Ellie Goulding Details Her Struggle with Anxiety After the ‘Very Best’ Yet ‘Hardest’ Year of Her Life – PEOPLE


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The singer revealed in a New Year's Eve Instagram post that she has "struggled daily, nightly, hourly with a kind of panic I didn't even know existed"

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Ellie Goulding rang in the New Year with a confession about her mental health.

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But in an Instagram post shared before the start of 2022, Goulding confessed to struggling with anxiety amid "the very best" year of her life.

"This year has also been the hardest of my life," the musician wrote in a slideshow posted on her page. "I've struggled daily, nightly, hourly with a kind of panic I didn't even know existed. While the moments of being on stage in front of all of you have been some of the most exhilarating and calming, this year I have been struggling."

Reflecting on the past, Goulding said her anxiety likely "dictated quite a lot of my life and career," which makes her "feel sad." However, the "Power" singer said anxiety has also helped make her who she is today. 

"I want to tell you this on the last day of this year because so many of you have been asking how I'm doing and often do not get a reply. It's because I've been too scared to admit that the answer is, not very good," she wrote. "I feel like something is broken inside - something that has been echoed deeply by the few I have opened up to."

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She continued, "This is something so so many people have gone through, you may be going through right now, or might go through in the future - and I just wanted to say, and I have to remind myself all the time, that it's not just you, it's not just me. Crippled by anxiety."

Goulding's message then shifted to her fans, many of whom, she said, have likely experienced anxiety themselves or know someone who has: "For those that are in this right now, we're together and we can get through this - most importantly, by talking. Talking and opening up is the hardest, and the best thing you can do."

At the end of her note, Goulding reminded readers that "Life is a precious thing and seeing Arthur grow every day gives me so much hope. ... Let's get through this together. 2022 is going to be a bright year. Positive energy. Together."

Goulding concluded: "Signing off (for a bit) and sending so much love, as ever, to you all xx."

As you well know !