Becca Kufrin Says Exes Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Garrett Yrigoyen Weren’t ‘All In’ Like Thomas Jacobs – PEOPLE

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"I really never had somebody fight tooth and nail to want to keep a relationship with me," Becca Kufrin said

By Dory Jackson October 14, 2021 04: 10 PM

Becca Kufrin's whirlwind romance with Thomas Jacobs is unlike anything she's ever experienced before.

During a joint appearance on the Talking It Out podcast Thursday, Kufrin, 31, opened up about what sets Jacobs, 29, apart from her past relationships with ex-fiancés Garrett Yrigoyen and Arie Luyendyk Jr.

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"The world saw how my relationship with Arie unfolded and how that ended, which was really tough. But there wasn't much dialogue there other than him ending things on TV, and that was kind of it. And then, in my past relationship with Garrett, obviously, the breakup was a lot more private," Kufrin said.

"But I never felt like those two men who, you know, we had promised our lives to each other at one point. You know, I had the ring. We were committed for a short amount of time. But I never felt like they were all in. Like, ready to fight," the Bachelor in Paradise star recalled.

"And for both of those breakups, it was just kind of, like, there wasn't much dialogue or passion. It was, more so, it just ended in the ways that it did. And with [Thomas], even though we didn't know each other for very long, but we still, I think, had so much feeling with one another," she continued. "When he was like, 'Have faith in us. Fight for us. Like, leave here with me. Don't have the what-ifs,' hearing him say those things was so foreign because I never had that. And I was kind of taken aback in that moment."

Kufrin said the pair hadn't discussed how serious their relationship was in Paradise, but Jacobs' willingness to fight for her showed her "how committed he actually was to being in this relationship."

"It was a new experience and I was like, 'That's really special.' And if he's willing to do that, then I'm willing to do that too," she added. "Obviously, you know, we came back and had to explore that on our own away from the cameras. But in that moment, I think that was game-changing for me because I really never had somebody fight tooth and nail to want to keep a relationship with me."

THOMAS JACOBS, REBECCA KUFRIN

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty Images

Kufrin was briefly engaged to Luyendyk Jr., 40, but he broke up with her in 2018 to pursue runner-up and now-wife Lauren Burnham Luyendyk. During her time as the Bachelorette, Kufrin got engaged to Yrigoyen, 32, but they announced their split in September 2020.

Then, Kufrin met Jacobs — who previously competed for former Bachelorette Katie Thurston's heart — on season 7 of Bachelor in Paradise. Though Kufrin ended their relationship in the season finale, they reconciled shortly after.

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Kufrin reached out to Jacobs two days after their split and it was as if "no time had passed" between them, she revealed on Thursday's podcast.

"I wanted the opportunity to be able to talk in person, face-to-face. Not do it through texts and really be able to have that long conversation, and give it the respect and the time it deserved," she said.

Becca Kufrin and Thomas Jacobs

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty

"I wanted him to see me in the real world and to pick me for me, not because we were on the show," she continued. "I think I said something along the lines of, 'If you're still willing to have a conversation, I would love to come down and chat with you. And if this is something we want to do, like, give it time. I don't want you to think you were forced into being with me because you were on the show or because of my past, or whatever it might be. I want to pick each other for who we are. And if we decide that we would just want to be friends and if we weren't a fit, that's fine. At least we gave it a shot.' "

Meanwhile, Jacobs said the breakup "needed" to happen for them to realize their relationship is "worth" fighting for.

"I knew she felt it too. Like, I had faith that it was going to actually lead to a future conversation," he said. "And I was just waiting for the moment and the opportunity just to see her again."

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